Monday, July 23, 2012

Life is Unfair

Life is so unfair sometimes, especially if you are 4 and have a younger brother.  I have to take a minute to talk about C.  This poor little guys has been asked twice in the last week to leave something early that he was so excited for, because of N.  I know that disappointment is a part of life, but I hate that kids need to learn it so young.

N is at the age where he's really starting to stretch himself.  He's wanting to go longer between naps, but he still needs them.  If we are out, he will not just fall asleep, he will push himself until he breaks.  This causes meltdown of epic proportion.  My usual happy, smiley, giggly little boy, turns into a screams, crying, red faced little monster.

As a mom, my heart breaks when I have to tell one of my boys no.  I know that they need to hear it, and I tell them no, often.  But, I hate when the reason I am giving is "Because your brother is upset."  I remember being little and hearing that we couldn't do something I wanted, or had been promised to me, because my little sister was tired or didn't want to.  And I was 7 when my little sister was born!  I was old enough to understand that it wasn't just about me.

C is 4, and he is a wonderful, caring big brother, who for the most part understands that when N is upset, we need to leave.  But it still breaks my heart to see his eyes fill with tears when we can't go on the carousal at the mall, or we need to leave the concert early, because his brother is having a meltdown and is tired.  Don't get me wrong, we don't do everything he wants to do all the time just because he wants to, but we do try to do little things that he asks for when we can because they make him happy.

I've been trying to make sure we do a few things that C wants to do.  These are things that won't be affected by N's behavior.  We go to the playground right outside our house, because as long as he's playing N is okay (once we get into the is another story if a snack and drink are not ready ASAP).  We set up "movie pillow" while we watch a movie together so N can run around if needed.  And we give C time on the computer because it's something he enjoys that N can't do yet.

I'm very proud of my big boy.  He is a great big brother, and I just hope that we are able to show him that even though life isn't always fair, it's pretty fun most of the time.

1 comment:

  1. That has to be so hard as a mom to know that you can't give both your boys everything they want all the time. Thanks for talking about it so honestly.