How Do You Do It?

How do you do it?  This is a question I get asked often, especially when someone finds out I have a son with food allergies...and now that I have two sons with food allergies, I get asked even more.  My response...what can I do?

As a mom, and dad, you do what you have to do for your kids.  Is it easy?  Hell, no!  But, really, what am I supposed to do?  Send the kids back?  (As tempting as that sounds sometimes, it wouldn't be because of their food allergies!)

Seriously though...how do I do it?  First, I don't do it alone.  People always seem slightly surprised when I mention this fact.  I have a wonderful Hubby, and great family and friends, who I could not do this without.  My Hubby and I are a team.  We each dealt with the news of a food allergy in different ways.  I, went on the Internet and looked up support groups and recipes and as much information as I could fit into my brain.

Next, Hubby and I came up with a plan.  We talked about what the allergist said, what I found on the Internet, and our own feelings, and found a way to work around the food allergies.  I mean, really, what else could we do?  We were talking about a 10 month old little boy!  As we've gotten more familiar with C's allergies, we've modified our plan.  We've been able to loosen up on some things, while keeping tight restrictions in other areas.  For example, I (or my mom) make all of C's cakes for special occasions outside the house.  This is a huge pain in the bottom, but we do it because, until we are told he no longer has the allergy, it's the best thing for C.

Now, N has been diagnosed with food allergies.  The hardest part has been that I am still nursing.  I thought about weaning him completely, but he won't wean...he needs that comfort too much right now.  So, I've modified my diet.  It's hard, really really hard, but what else am I supposed to do for my 6 month old little baby?  I thought I did everything right while I was pregnant....I eliminated peanuts and tree nuts, and I cut out all blatant egg (I still had baked goods and things with egg baked in, but no mayo or hard boiled eggs).  I didn't change the amount of dairy, wheat, fish, or anything else in my diet.  Yet, N is allergic to dairy and eggs, possibly other foods as well.  So now?  I cut dairy and egg completely out of my diet (as best I can..I'm struggling a lot with this) and I only nurse when I know he really needs the comfort...because I know that's something he needs.

I'm just a mom.  Just a mom trying to do my best.  So, when you ask me "How do you do it?"  What do you expect my answer to be?  My usual response...I do what I need to do.  I do it by loving my kids and being there for them.  It's not always easy, and it sucks having to tell your 3 year old that he can't eat what the other kids are eating, and I hate having to change my diet...but they are my kids, my life, my pride and joy, and I do what I need to do.  But I couldn't do it without the love and support of Hubby, my family, and my friends.

To Register or Not to Register...

It was never a question when I was pregnant with C, we had our 20 week ultrasound and found everything was looking great and we were having a boy!  It was right before Christmas, so we waited until we got home to register, but we headed into Babies R Us to become overwhelmed and look at all the wonderful things they make for babies.  We picked out a few things and decided to wait for another weekend to finish because it really was overwhelming...but a registry was made! 

Now, I'm 23 weeks, there's talk of a possible baby party (shower,) but I still don't know...do I register?  I can see both side so of the argument, not only is this our second baby, but they will be the same gender and only 2.5 years apart.  Yes, we have most of the big things still from C, and are planning on reusing everything that we can.  Sure, there are a few big things (double stroller, some things that we never had for C, that we would like this time around) but we don't expect others to by them for us.  Of course, there's always those small, every baby needs items like diapers, wipes, lotions, breastfeeding items, etc.  And of course, there are those friends and family who want to buy a gift, but don't know what we already have, what we need or what we like.  So a registry would help them.  (Of course we know that a lot of people don't shop off the registry, but it's there for those that need it.)  But, do you register?

I've tried looking it up online and of course the opinions on varied!  I'm the first in our immediate group of friends to have a second child, so I am setting a precedent here...talk about stressful!  I do know of people who have had parties for their second (or more) child and have registered, I also know people who have not.  So, do I register? 

What do you think?  Is registering for a second (or more) child tacky?  Or is it super helpful?  Or does it make no difference either way? 

For the record, I think that a party for every child is okay, every child is different and deserves a party.  Would registering make it look like you are only after the gifts?

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